i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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