I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
