I cockslap morals
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
