grandma shit on top of the toilet
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
