nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The struggles of a small town man whore
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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