how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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