Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
