If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
