white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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