I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
