This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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