Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
