conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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