at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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