Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
