i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
