i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i dont even know how to be here
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
