Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
