no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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