I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
