he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
