he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
