A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
