I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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