'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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