Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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