Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
