In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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