I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
