When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
