Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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