watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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