I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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