Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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