The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
