Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
