Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
