It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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