This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
