Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
