So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
