Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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