I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
