Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
