Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
