dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So much rum. So many feels.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
