You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
one two three fourrrrnication!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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