At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I know her cup size but not her name....
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