LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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