I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
