why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Enjoy the penises
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
